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One thing I've come to understand, through my own relationship, is that for people who are really working at commitment, a relationship quickly ceases to be a political statement.There is certainly part of me that feels my partnership with a black woman says something about me. The problem is that no committed person goes to bed with black spouse or a white spouse.My position is that for women of color, this very common "wince" has solely to do with the African story in America.Scott goes on to detail the history of black women, racist degradation, and beauty standards. But I think the key problem here is a common one--a kind of collectivist approach toward something as individual and private as marriage.They go to be bed with someone who does, or doesn't, want children.In other words, they go to bed with an individual who (hopefully) has very specific idea about their life that go beyond whether the revolution will be televised, or not.I admit when I saw his wedding ring, I privately hoped.

"Black people" didn't take my son to tennis lessons this week.It's totally out of whack with what I see/hear in my daily interactions.It's as if all our complainers, all our naysayers, all our insecurities got together and went into journalism. Relationships are not (anymore, at least) a collectivist act.They really come down to two individuals doing business in ways that we will never be privy to.

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