The truth about online dating services
I’ve tomcatted around but encountered no one with any lasting potential. And I have a revelation - it also isn’t for losers. (High on the heady octane of the chase, this is what I tell my self). Well…As a young man I always valued charm over intelligence, good humour over achievement and ambition. the guy at the newsagent, the office receptionist, even their male workmates etc.I’ve been successfully fixed up by a friend (nice for a while, but she’s now stopped returning my calls), secretly dated one of my ex wife’s friends (awkward), and, oddly, all but ostracised by my former martial group’s circle of friends - male and female alike. So, one day, I chance on an old flame via Linked In, the CV-driven, job application site, of all places. I read all the flowery guff and macho flannel penned by the losers in my demographic and decide to go minimal and mysterious. No dubious boasts about Iron Man challenges and sponsored walks. The happily married, steady relationship might think there is a stigma attached to this sort of thing. Men who go looking for company on the web tend to be busy, time-poor careerists - proactive, sensible and pragmatic realists who haven’t the time or inclination to wander aimlessly up and down the aisles of the love supermarket, searching for Mr or Mrs Right. But older, and somewhat preposterously single, I now know charm to be something of a controversial issue - a gender issue even. The success rate, based on customer feedback, is 70 per cent.It didn't take very long for internet savvy entrepreneurs to commodify online dating into a massive industry that seems to keep growing.It may have been an admission of failure in “normal” relationships to join an online dating site at one time, but with new apps like Tinder and sites like OKCupid plus hundreds more, it's now socially acceptable to at least give online dating a try."Simply everyone is doing it." According to figures released by You Gov, 50 per cent of the UK’s single classes have now tried out internet dating via one of Britain’s 1,500 websites (there are an estimated 5,000 sites in Europe alone) while 20 per cent of relationships in the UK now begins online, with meeting on the internet now third in popularity only to meeting through mutual friends, or barflying it around in pubs and discos. On paper - or on an i Pad tablet screen, if you will - I appear to be a perfect candidate. In my mid-forties, suddenly single, heart-broken, emotionally wrecked, world weary, cynical, profoundly discombobulated and reduced of esteem and circumstance, maybe incapable of ever loving again. I begin an exchange with an Australian girl, living in North London. We meet in a louche, Soho dive bar and are at each other’s tongues by the second cocktail. Goodbye."Mildly devastated – I thought we’d seemed rather compatible when her tongue was down my throat - I bravely steel myself for this kind of cold and callously abrupt rejection. Doug’s school is in the social calibration business dealing with a typical male customer; very shy, awkward males, fluent in logistics and technicalities – the IT sector is a major target market - but lacking in social skills.
The vast majority do so without knowing much about online dating, except for all those urban legends, a few word-of-mouth reports and, of course, whatever the convincing advertisements say. I knew that last night when I was busily, drunkenly clicking and typing and e-flirting. Then, two glasses of wine in, loneliness and devil-may-care, WTF arrogance to the fore, I had arranged a meeting for the following night. Do you really want to be signing up to a service that will facilitate dating the kind of girl who would sign up to this sort of thing? She had "liked" me and despite her suburban clobber, brassy make up and bleached, brittle-looking hair, despite the dating service’s computer calculating us as only a 40 per cent match, I had "liked" her back. One side of your brain is asking; "Jeez, you pathetic, sad sack of middle age desperation has it come to this? Indulging in faux-cute email banter before arranging trysts at unfamiliar bars and pubs chosen with the specific criteria of being places where you will definitely know no one at all.People that date online are most likely to be: Kaspersky Lab warned that the online dating world is also rife with false information – something that may cause yet more problems for those actually looking for love.Over half (62%) of people locally admitted to lying while dating online – faking information to make themselves look better than they do in real-life, or even to try and catch their partners cheating.