Dating someone who is bipolar side effects great adventures dc dating
I am writing this for anyone who is dating someone that is bipolar or is thinking about dating someone that is bipolar.I wish I had done more research prior to my involvement with my ex-fiancÃ©e.Looking back on it now, it was a direct manipulation and it worked, because I showed up at his door that evening. I wish I had done my research prior to my involvement with him instead of learning as I went along and although I know not all bipolarâs are the same I would like to post the warning signs I ignored and say that if anyone here is considering getting involved with someone with this illness be prepared to face a lifetime of pain. Very little french kissing or touching in general, but otherwise acted very sexual. 4.) wrote me an e-mail of things he expected of me and from the relationship early on including marriage and children. 5.) told me he âloved meâ after our 5th date 6.) clearly by now he is in a full manic stage.I have yet to meet someone in person or on line that has a healthy relationship with someone with this illness. He brought me down to such a state of depression that I myself had to take medication several months after our breakup for depression. Everything was euphoric, he was taking me on the ride with him 7.) did or made inappropriate sexual comments, grabbing my crotch in public, saying or asking inappropriate things 8.) wanted to know how far I have gone sexually, i. Threesomes, etc 9.) talked about sex all the time, but when it came right down to it, he used it as a way to control me, saying this such as âa good way not to get me to sleep with you is by asking me to.â 10.) sex the first time was horrible and many times thereafter.Ironically he refused talk therapy as a way to deal with his illness 33.) constantly was negative and often wrote me e-mails in which he would put me, my family or daughter down.34.) often brought up how much he hated his ex girlfriends 35.) constantly berated me for not doing things I said I would do and how I never thought about him 36.) often complained he âgave moreâ to others and expected nothing in return, when in reality he made note of it 37.) constantly complained we only did things I enjoyed, and I never thought about him 38.) he spent the night at a crisis center when I first broke it off with him, only 3 months into dating 39.) cried and begged me back 40.) was addicted to on line dating and would post on multiple dating sites even while engaged 41.) expected me to appear at certain events even after he broke up with me and became enraged when I didnât.It was painful, and out of control and there was nothing I could do about it. When he knew I wanted sex, he always made an effort, even if he was tired or sleepy.--except when we were ending. He took showers with me a lot, but did prefer his privacy at times...
I am sorry you had to go through all of that but some of us do seek therapy and take our medications and know our triggers and know how we get. He may have said he had been diagnosed bi-polar but deliberate cruelty and undermining of a partner is not how bi-polars are in general. For you to advise people to turn and run rather than have a relationship with a bi-polar SUFFERER is nasty on your part. People who know me, would tell you that is very unusual for me, because I am very upbeat, positive person, always optomistic. I have met a lot of parents, friends, husbands and wives on line regarding their stories, but yours is so similar to mine. It was bad and he wanted others to know he was doing a bad thing. In any event, it was me, (me being a masochist) who actually wanted to have it be not passionate, however, he always knew exactly what to do. =( I really exhausted him physically now that I think about it. Thatâs all we ever do.â what guy says something like that?
For those of you still enduring that are getting no where try and get them to a qualified therapist along with making sure your spouse/lover is getting the right medication. Like I said, he never said goodbye to her and she didnât deserve that. Later in an e-mail he told me he doesnât mean to do bad things, and that most relationships end badly because that is the way of the world. Itâs been 15 months since we have broken up and I have never received an apology and he never has once asked about my daughter who would have become his stepdaughter. I must rephrase that in the beginning, everything was hot, steamy passionate and very very intense. I wonder if she had said something to him or if he did it to prove how sad I made him and he was getting rid of the things he loved most. Mine did inappropriate things, like grabbing my crotch in public or pulling up my shirt when his parents left the room.
And for the few of you that actually have survived relationships through this illness. To the author of this article people who have BIPOLAR do not choose to be born that way it's heridtary so for you to say you will never get involved with a bipolar person is ignorant and your daughter is going to end up as ignorant as you. I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 6 years now and I am a successfully lawyer. Thatâs why I posted what I did to warn other women, that this illness is so unpredictable and the saddest thing in all this is that my daughter got hurt the worse and lost a potential daddy. Although my ex-bf and I didnt have anything in common I think that is what drew us close together. In fact he sold a lot of things after the breakup that we enjoyed doing together, like videos we watched, etc. I must disagree with the "lack of showing affection" as being a bipolar characteristic, simply because my ex was the opposite. Holding hands in public, kissing, and he was actually the cuddler. Itâs like he wanted to get âcaughtâ doing something bad.
WE do work hard to get our symptoms under control and try not to make the lives of those around us a complete nightmare. He could just have been a very nasty person who happened also to have bi-polar. I'm sorry you had a bad experience and even more sorry that your daughter suffered too but there are people who behave in the way your ex behaved who have NO MENTAL ILLNESS DIAGNOSIS AT ALL. I have met some bi-polar people that are pretty nice of course I have not lived with them, like you did. He was actually more of the giver, and never rubbed it in anyone's face. And we would have little fights bc I always felt it should be 50/50.. It even scared me to the point, that I knew I needed more than just âtalk therapyâ. I am going to assume that since your ex was on and off again with is medication (it sounds like) led to that passionate sex. When we first broke up (this is the second time) he cried to get me back, but we were both so emotionally that I cried as well. --during fights he would not answer his phone, turn off the lights at his home and pretend he wasnât there refusing to speak 50. I was lucky like I said if we had it once a week and like I said, even that felt forced.
So to those of you who do bravely venture into getting into a relationship with those of us who have bipolar desease, kudos to you. Or someone who decided to get some form of diagnosis to manipulate others. I know, I married one and was abused night and day. Don't you feel that if he was seeking professional help and was taking meds and was not doing the stuff on the computer that he was doing and a few other negative things that he was doing and thinking of your . --- "he had little to no friends" he was a loner, but I didnt mind, because sometimes I needed that intimacy. Agree--"his parents were over involved in his life, yet he was in his mid 30âs."--- he was 1 year shy of it... I was diagnosed with clinical depression and put on lexapro. I just think with mine the medicine really inhibited him to feel sexual yet I donât think he was willing to admit it. I did something horrible to him, and he wanted me back. The more I think about it the more I think he was embarrassed that he couldnât get off and that he simply was sick of trying. When he knew I wanted sex, he always made an effort, even if he was tired or sleepy.--except when we were ending. He took showers with me a lot, but did prefer his privacy at times...