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And to me, it’s obvious – sexual attraction doesn’t exist in a vacuum – it’s not some innate whim of biology that you have no control over.

The medium of porn, and the endemic racism that threads through parts of the industry is a very complicated conversation.

Desirability isn’t the be all and end all our social and political struggles – and our conversations shouldn’t become completely absorbed by an obsessive focus on who wants to get with us and who doesn’t.

But it’s still a part of our lives like any other, and one that can impact on our sense of self-worth.

Evolutionary scientists are now challenging the common view that mate choices are evolutionarily “hardwired” in our brains.

Instead, they suggest that humans are programmed to respond to changing environments and norms with great flexibility.

According to the researchers, the tradition of “female homemakers” and “male breadwinners” no longer exists in many nations.

While men used to be more attracted to looks and domestic traits of women, education and income have become increasingly important.These are traits that women have long sought in men, but what’s new is that men are now choosing wives based on brains.“In today’s world, where both partners can (and often must) work to achieve a decent lifestyle, most men want an educated, intelligent wife who can earn a good wage,” Eagly said.“He just doesn’t fancy black girls,” he says, sat across from me over a Spoons panini, two plates of chips and a murky pint of Guinness that’s spilling at the rim.“That’s just his preference.” It’s 2019, and conversations I thought we finished up with in the early internet age of the personal essay are still going round and round in the IRL sphere, particularly with my white friends.

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