Dating for heads
To be a good dating coach, the two essential qualities are "good, active listening skills and a sociological mindset," said Xu, who has a double major in business and sociology."In a conversation, the first five minutes are essential because the person is verbally processing their thoughts, so their words have a lot of meaning in that short period of time," she said."From there, a series of things kind of parlayed it into a dating app.My business partner said, 'You know, I think the vision is incredible, but this is needed in dating as well," Wolfe said.Xu only coaches men and has won trust from over 100 clients, who place their romantic life in her hands.Xu finds men easier to coach as they are more direct with their feelings and eager to follow her advice.
That said, I always thought speed dating was just some ridiculous trope invented purely for romantic comedies when the characters need an outlandish situation to crash.
Although the services dating coaches provide can often resemble psychotherapy, with many dating coaches having a background in that, the two should not be conflated.
Xu explains that those who deem their issues deeply psychological should seek proper medical help from licensed doctors.
Spending about one-third of her time in Beijing each year, Xu has coached a number of locals and become a keen observer of the dating environment in Beijing compared to New York.
While dating is part of the culture in New York, in Beijing it's very much all or nothing.