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Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in Ohio.

She received her Master of Social Work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983.

The idea of dating and falling in love again seems like an impossible mountain to climb.

So what should you do when you find yourself interested in dating someone who’s been widowed?

(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy.

If he makes her happy in countless wonderful ways, I advise that she try to understand that there can be a piece of him that still loves and honors his late wife.

Some people take years, others weeks, and then there are those who choose never to date again.Learn how to pursue the relationship in a healthy and respectful manner.Make sure that you do not make any moves toward dating in the immediate aftermath of his wife's death.And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above). Look, here’s my best advice: know your must have’s, and go into every date looking for at least one thing that is RIGHT about him. It is true that some think they are ready but not (just like after a breakup, right? Don’t assume any specific number of months or years is required until he’s ready. In fact just writing that makes me feel like throwing up.

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